Inside the Book

Christhood, a word I believe to have somewhat made up, means the attainment of Christ consciousness. Christ consciousness is not about Christianity, but rather a natural spiritual evolvement of human consciousness, the awakening of a sense of unity with life, in its many forms, and oneness between the human and the divine. Christ consciousness is the acknowledgement that life is love. Not the egocentric love born of our human nature, but the all-loving, all-knowing and all-powerful love of our divine nature. Once we reach this understanding and exemplify it in our daily life, we live in Christ consciousness. You may choose to call it by a different name, as for example Buddha consciousness, Atman or The Great I Am.

It is my experience that people do not listen. They hear but don't listen. What is the point of being able to hear, if it is not to listen? In order to listen, one must still oneself. If, when someone speaks to us we let our mind wander or are thinking about our response, our next appointment or what we will be wearing to the movies that night, we will not know what the person is truly saying. We are going to base our understanding on the few words we picked up here and there, and we usually hear only what is agreeable to us. This lack of attention will come back to haunt us. For instance, when we feel attracted to someone, our desire for that person often over takes our reason and we stop listening. We do not pay attention to what the person is trying to tell us and our superficial understanding of the other prevents us from developing a truthful relationship with him or her. When someone leaves a relationship, be it romantic or professional, often the abandoned person claims to have had no clue that the relationship was in trouble. Yet there are always plenty of clues if we are listening for them. When we are caught by surprise, it is because we have not been paying attention. We tend to distort reality to fit our personal needs. How many times does a mother tell her child to behave or he will be punished? Mothers always give plenty of warnings, because they truly do not want to have to punish their children. However, when a child does not listen, the parent has no choice but to teach the child that there is a consequence to every action. Like a loving mother, life constantly guides us and sends us messages. This information comes to us all the time, often through the most unlikely person, in the most unlikely circumstance. Life may speak to us through anyone, anything, at any time, so I strongly advise that we start listening.

Of course, we must learn to discriminate and not be overly attentive to people who are constantly speaking just for the pleasure of hearing their own voice. However, in the same manner we must avoid listening to nonsense, we must also recognize that some people know more than others. It is in our best interest to be open to the experience certain people have gained through time and hard work. It is a mystery to me, why we would not take advantage of such gifts. Why do we want to repeat our own mistakes time and time again? I feel that it is important to be grateful to those who have gone before us to open a path of enlightenment. Following this path, we avoid obstacles and therefore gain knowledge and power more quickly. Then, it becomes our turn to clear the path for those coming behind us, and in turn, so will those following us clear the path for the ones behind them, and on and on, until the entire human race reaches more enlightened levels of existence.

Since the beginning of time, many spiritual masters have come to earth to help humankind awaken to certain divine truths. These masters gave this loving service with great sacrifice, for even though they were pure beings prepared for their destiny, they were not, at birth, given a manual with all the answers. They had to go deep within their hearts and souls to find truth. They had to reconnect with the source of life and knowledge and re-unite in consciousness with the divine. Only then, the reality of their true purpose was clear to them, and they were able to embody certain divine truths and impart to others the spiritual riches they had come to recognize. They each spoke about different aspects of the same divine truth, in different terms and according to the evolution of humankind at the time and place of their sojourn on earth, and they each left us with a richer spiritual heritage. How did they come to perceive these truths? They listened. They constantly listened with great attentiveness and, through the hubbub of human consciousness, they heard the voice of divinity. So can we.

We do not listen because subconsciously we know that if we were to listen we would undoubtedly come to acquire knowledge and we fear that with knowledge comes responsibility. Since many of us are not willing to assume responsibility, we prefer ignorance. However, the spark of truth within ourselves constantly tries to steer us into the right direction, and we know subliminally when things are right and when they are not. How many times, after something bad happens, have we not said, "if only I had listened!" We wrongly think that ignorance will protect us, but we are not really ignorant; we are only inattentive and careless. Life, expressing itself through the spark of light within us, no matter how tiny this spark may be, ceaselessly murmurs guidance or warning. We simply do not listen and therefore, we keep on creating more and more problems and suffering for ourselves and for our world.

I was born with a strong desire to know truth. A "soul desire" was pushing me ahead by keeping me thirsty for understanding. No matter what sorry state of self-pity I may have found myself in, I was constantly propelled forward, never allowed to dwell on my misery for too long. From an early age, I knew to observe life and to listen. I did not always hear correctly or abide by the counsel, and for this, I suffered greatly! However, in the end divine truth won over the inadequacies of my human personality, and what I came to know filled my entire being with peace and my life with harmony. I am so grateful to be able to experience life from such a magnificent place that I want to share some of my journey with you. It is my hope that learning how I found my way will assist you in your personal divine pilgrimage and help you find the stillness to listen, for listening will greatly enrich your life.

The journey toward self-transformation is not an easy journey. It encompasses many aspects of divine truth and therefore, it is sometimes necessary that a previously mentioned explanation be repeated and reinforced. What you may sense as an overlapping of information is meant to allow you to pass from one level of awareness to another. Furthermore, to illustrate my journey I reveal certain personal circumstances and feelings that may shock some of you. I wish to emphasize that this is not a current reflection of my feelings or relationships. I am only sharing them with you to show that no matter how difficult our life may be, every one of us has the potential and power to make extraordinary positive changes, and to journey from "From Childhood to Christhood."

To master our fears, we need faith, not only faith in God but also faith in ourselves. Faith is a driving force, it is the power that takes us on the path of truth and keeps us on it. As we walk the road toward enlightenment our faith is constantly tested, because what appears to be true of ourselves and of others, strongly differs from what we know is the true reality of humanity. At times, the contrast between the two is so striking that our faith is shaken to its core. The events of 9/11 illustrate this point. Both sides of humanity were strongly represented that day, but in the end, the unspeakable horror of what happened was eclipsed by the sacrifice of many and the love and light generated by people throughout the world. No matter how dark it gets, the true reality of darkness is light, and our determination to bring light forth must not flounder.

There was nothing happening in my life, or in the lives of the people around me that offered any basis for my faith. Even if I knew deep within my soul that life was meant to be lived in joy, peace and harmony, it certainly appeared to be lived mostly in discord, selfishness and distress. I could not accept this imperfect world as the true reality of life, but had no concrete proof that my vision of a different world and a better life was correct. In fact, my faith in perfection seemed pretty naïve. But my apparently naïve faith also made me indestructible for, no matter what came my way, I kept my faith alive. I always trusted that my questions would be answered, that I would know happiness and success, that I would achieve perfection and find peace. To better myself became a priority, an integral part of my day-to-day activities. I worked hard at achieving my goals, dedicating most of my free time to my spiritual work, spending a lot of time alone, reading, meditating, praying, and slowly finding my center. Most importantly, I began the process of observing myself with piercing honesty, and every night I would replay the day's events and carefully watch my actions and reactions, and listen to my words. In doing so, I found out that seemingly insignificant exchanges that took place during the course of a day could hold important clues about my behavior patterns. I scrutinized everything I did, every word I said, and I did not let myself get away with any improper behavior. For instance, if a problem arose in a relationship, I placed the focus on my own behavior rather than blaming the other person. I thought about the problem until its cause became clear to me, and then I tried to change my behavior in the hope of finding new ways to keep the relationship healthy. I did not let go of any situation until I felt that I had done everything I could to understand and improve it. My mind was sharp and active and I became extremely observant and analytical. This was a time when friends, colleagues or simple acquaintances often came to me for advice, which I dispensed willingly. People were drawn to confide in me because they trusted my confidence, they knew I listened and they recognized that I gave sound advices. I responded to them because I realized that I had an acute sensitivity that allowed me to see people clearly. I was able to do this, not only because it is easier to see clearly in a situation when one stands outside of it, but also because I could connect with the energy of everyone involved in the matter, and sense the truth behind their actions or reactions. With time, I knew that most people repeatedly lied to themselves and consequently to others, and lived in emotional and mental jails. Jails with walls that they were building wider every day, until they were left with so little room to breathe, that either they found a way to escape or died emotionally, spiritually and even physically. However, I did not realize that it was through my own sensitivity that I received certain insights that presented me with the solution for the dilemmas of others. I sincerely thought that what was obvious to me was obvious to everyone. Perhaps most importantly, I did not know how to discern when it was appropriate to speak the truth as I saw it, and when it was necessary to keep quiet. Consequently, I often ended up alienating myself from the very people I meant to help.

For the most part, people were neither ready nor willing to hear what I said to them, and they ended up resenting me for bringing certain issues to their attention. Because they would not accept certain truths about themselves, they kept on creating similar hurtful situations. They continued to come to me for advice that they would not follow, until I grew tired of listening to their complaints. The friend that was always fired because of her constant criticism of other employees did not want to see that her behavior caused her firing. She kept getting fired and consequently lived in financial insecurity that set off multitudes of other problems and so on … The friend that kept going back to her abusive boyfriend, because she was afraid to be alone or because abusive love was the only love she recognized, did not want to stop the circle of abuse. She did not accept that she had the power change the circumstances of her life because she had grown comfortable feeling sorry for herself … Looking back, I realize that I was led mostly through the power of my mind while the qualities of my heart, such as temperance and compassion, were not very developed in me then. I was also fighting my own demons and it would take many years before I would be able to know and accept my own truths, and learn to express compassion toward myself and others. I had a lot of work to do. One of the reasons we experience so much disappointment is that our perception of success is false. We are fast to grade people's successes or failures according to external displays of riches or physical beauty. Many believe that happiness depends on possessing these attributes and our society admires rich, successful and handsome people, without having any clue as to their true character. Industries make millions of dollars tapping into our insecurities, incessantly bringing our attention to our "short comings," and reinforcing our distorted ideas about who and what we are. God is bombarded with requests for money, lovers, slim bodies and other self-gratifying desires, and I too asked for all of the above thinking them to be keys to happiness. I am not suggesting that it is wrong to have such desires or that addressing one's spirituality entails a life of poverty, loneliness and homeliness; not at all. Prosperity, love and beauty are divine qualities that we are intended to create for ourselves. However, I feel that it is best that they not be an objective, but rather a result of our efforts to know and better ourselves. The more connected we are to the divine, the more our desires will come true for us.

Achieving material success is not always compatible with what is required of a spiritual seeker. For instance, desiring financial success in business not only requires that "making money" takes precedence over any other matters of our life, but also that we may have to act in ways that conflict with our spiritual work. Therefore, unless we are already financially secure when we start our spiritual awakening, chances are that we will have to make an enormous breakthrough before the riches of heaven descend upon us. In addition, because of the many changes the seeker of truth undergoes along the way, the beginning of the journey may not be favorable to personal relationships. Friendships and marriage may be dissolved and new relationships difficult to maintain. During our quest for truth, we are confronted by our fears and conquering them may require our undivided attention for a while, leaving very little room for the needs of others, even for those we dearly love. This does not mean that we can ignore our responsibilities, but rather that we must prioritize and let go of the "nonnecessities" that clutter our lives and rob us of our energy and time. Furthermore, as we progress and start overcoming some of our fears, certain qualities that were dormant within us reawaken, and we slowly grow into a different personality. Those who witness the changes we undergo are subliminally reminded of the personal journey they themselves need to take in order to fight their own fears. Consequently, they may feel threatened by our success and find it difficult adjusting to our "new" self. They may not be able to acknowledge that we have changed or they may even reject who we have become. Every change and revelation produces new initiations not only for us but also for all those who are a part of our life. At the beginning, I imagined my spiritual journey not so much as a path but as a ladder, which gave me the opportunity to ascend from the abyss of human imperfection into the heights of divine perfection. It became clear to me that fear is what separates us from our perfect self and perfect life. Accurately enough Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself." Fear gives birth to imperfection and to impurity; it is the source of every negative quality, every negative feeling and every negative thought.

Fear is the enemy. The path of enlightenment is the path upon which we encounter our fears, battle with them and finally claim victory over them. It is faith in the mighty power, unconditional love and illuminating wisdom of the divine creative force that carries us through the various battles and leads us to ultimate victory. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all climbing a ladder of light. Every one of us is standing on a different step of the same ladder where we each have our particular needs met in accordance with divine justice. What we come to experience while we climb the ladder, individually and jointly, is always for our highest and greatest good. This remains true whether the experience is of a positive and pleasant nature or seemingly a negative and painful nature; nothing is ever presented to us that we are not prepared to discover and to overcome when necessary. Many people who have gone through tremendous suffering have come out victorious and said "this is the best thing that ever happened to me." This does not lessen the hardship, but it clearly demonstrates that the experience or even tragedy had a positive impact on us. Of course, the ideal is to learn our lessons without having to go through such hardships, which is the state of being we are aiming towards as we climb the spiritual ladder. Contrary to what we might expect, greater knowledge and awareness does not at first lessen difficulties and challenges. With knowledge comes responsibility, and we are obliged to implement what we have learned. Understanding a problem does not solve it, it only points to the solution. Therefore, until we reach a level of purity where we can fully express the truths we have been privileged to be reacquainted with, we shall endure difficult initiations. Patience, dedication, hard work, hope and faith open the door to a consciousness of abundance where thirst for knowledge is always quenched. Once we reach that consciousness, we know our perfection, we know the perfection of every man, woman and child, we know the perfection of life itself. We accept the divine faculties that give us the power not only to create perfection but also to transform imperfect creations into the perfection from which they originate. We are on our way to the Garden of Eden, the place we are so longing for, and the sooner we begin our conscious journey, the sooner we shall reach our destination. Many spiritual leaders and founders of different religions have come to open the path and show us the way to paradise, and now it is up to us to follow in their footsteps.

It is time that as men and women of earth we recognize that we are sons and daughters of God, that our true nature is divine and that, no matter how deeply we have buried our divine spark, we have the right and the power to reclaim it. In so doing, we become the prodigal sons and daughters returning home to our creator, our loving parent who welcomes us with love and showers us with riches. Esoteric and religious teachings tell us that God abides within each human being. We must neither judge nor focus our attention on anyone's shortcomings but rather try to see beyond them and honor the divinity of each person that crosses our path. Even when our mind and heart are prepared to accept that human beings are divine beings, the application of this understanding in our daily life does not come easily. Our consciousness being full of untruths, fearful emotions and prejudices, we are so removed from the spiritual realities of life that externalizing spiritual truths in ourselves and in the manner we interrelate with others takes a long time, even many lifetimes. There are times, however, when a spiritual truth feels so familiar to us that we are able to accept and apply it without hesitation. This may prove that we have already traveled that road of enlightenment, and the memory of past knowledge and experience from a prior incarnation remains alive in us today. However, the scale of our knowledge does not make us superior or inferior to anyone else, for the same possibilities and capacities for achieving perfection exist in each of us. We are all equal in our divinity; it is only in our "humanness" that we differ.

There are so many unknown factors involved in our evolution that we simply cannot know why someone's life takes one direction or another. Therefore, we truly are not in a position to place judgment on anyone and on anything. Regardless, our society is quick to judge and condemn. We feel victimized by life when things are not going our way or when catastrophe strikes. In fact, there are no victims, there are no injustices and what happens to us is only a direct effect of a previous cause. When a crime is committed, society likes to condemn the perpetrator, even to his or her death sometimes. While we might condemn the crime, do we have the right to condemn the person who committed the crime? Do we truly know the origins of the crime? Do we know the circumstances that brought together the criminal and the victim? Could the crime have served a higher purpose? Could it be a karmic debt? Could it be a sacrifice to bring public attention to particular social issues? Could it be an offering to redeem mass karma? There are so many possible scenarios, so many probabilities and so many unknowns, that our judgment can never be absolute. To commit a crime is wrong, and those who do are accountable to divine justice for the pain and suffering their actions inflicted on others. However, when we harbor hatred for criminals, when we mistreat them or even kill them, we do not render justice. We only amplify and strengthen the darker forces already in action within their consciousness, as well as our own fears and darkness. We must seek to remember that God abides within each and every one of us, even within the worst of criminals. Piercing through appearances, and accepting that divine light is the core of every man, woman and child is truly no simple matter.

Many times in the course of our life we have dealings with people whose selfish, dishonest or aggressive actions disappoint, hurt or even repulse us. It is not rare that family members, best friends or business partners betray each other; it is not rare that children turn against parents, husbands against wives or siblings against siblings. Whether we acknowledge it or not, our experiences have filled our heart with feelings of resentment, jealously and even hatred, and these feeling have bearing on the way we look at others. In good conscience, how are we going to become an all-loving, all-giving and all-caring man or woman? How are we going to honor the divine essence present in everyone? To accomplish this we need to reset and reprogram our mind so that it may accept and process the idea. We need to fill our mind with the ideal of unconditional love, whether our heart responds or does not respond to it at all. In a way, we have to force the concept into our consciousness in spite of the conflicting feelings that it elicits within us. To open our heart, we must at first work with and through our mind. With time, divine love will find its way to our heart and we will be able to exemplify this divine truth by loving all people equally, as one.

When I understood that it was essential to my personal growth that I connect with the pure heart of all people I felt quite unprepared for the task. I was confusing pure unconditional love with a love born of feelings or passions. If I knew that I could be generous and kind to others, I was not sure that I could accept and honor God's presence within all people regardless of their behavior and appearance. Receiving this truth initiated a long and harrowing process of self-purification because, to accept the presence of God in anyone and everyone, I had to first accept it within myself. As we look at ourselves honestly, we may catch ourselves judging, criticizing, hating and feeling the many negative emotions that we know we are in need of overcoming, and which repeatedly come back to haunt us. We may alternatively feel powerless against them or confident that we have won them over. When we think that we have overcome a fear, we feel so good about it that we tend to lower our guard. It is then, when we least expect it, that we are placed in a situation that triggers that very fear, and makes us prey to the very negative emotions we thought we had overcome. One of my biggest challenges was my fear of feeling worthless. I was so insecure that I rarely protested to being mistreated, but when I did react, it was usually with anger, which left me ridden with guilt and disappointed in myself. It came a time when I was convinced that I had reached a level of understanding where such reactions would no longer occur, and I was quite pleased with myself. It was then that I was caught by surprise! A client of my service company, expressing unjustified complaints on the work that was done in his home, and placing unrealistic demands on me awakened my dormant (but still very much alive) response to feeling "abused." In an instant, and even though I knew better, my newfound wisdom, peace and understanding vanished and my old self reacted with a vengeance. Not only did I lose the client, but more importantly, I felt terribly disillusioned by the painful realization that I still was not in control of my emotions. I was left with a deep sense of failure. Feeling like a failure is a fierce enemy, and the sole antidote to it is faith. Our faith must remain unyielding because there are times when it is only the power of our faith that propels us ahead.

You may be wondering why I am not painting a more pleasant image of the road I am proposing you take, and why anyone would choose a path that promises hardships and no short-term success? From my experience, I can say that the sacrifices and heartaches we experience are of great value, because our efforts lead us into such magnificent places within our heart, mind and soul, that there are no words to describe them. You may also reflect on the fact that a life lived outside of the path of enlightenment is not without hardships either, and those roads lacking light lead nowhere except to more suffering (even if these results are not felt until the next lifetime, therefore creating an illusion of safety in this life)! The choice of the road we wish to travel is ours. Whichever one we choose is always the best one, because it is the road upon which we shall receive the best opportunities to learn and to grow. I am emphasizing the obstacles we encounter on the path of self-realization to contrast with the idea that spiritual evolvement is a process that takes place outside of ourselves, and from which we become beneficiaries simply because we desire it. I have met many people who are eager to believe that once they put their desires into the hands of a higher power, everything that happens in their life is divinely willed.

My personal experience is that discerning between human will and divine will is one of the hardest tasks of the spiritual traveler. I believe that there are times when our wishes are fulfilled not by divine will but by the intensity of our desire. We cannot undermine the power of the ego, which makes us want something badly enough that we actually make it happen, unfortunately not always in our best interest. There are times when we feel victimized because our wishes are not fulfilled, when in fact it is divine intervention that obstructs our getting what we want, because something better is around the corner, or because we are not yet prepared for what we think we want. Unrealized desires mostly mean that we need to discover the hidden motives behind our needs, and recognize certain truths about ourselves.

Nothing is ever as it seems and we must learn not to accept what happens at face value, but always look beyond appearances. Spirituality is about life; it is about the way we choose to relate to others, the elements, the universe and God. It is a philosophy, a way of life that we must express through every word we say, every thought we think and every action we take at every single instant of our life. In the past, universal laws were revealed to only a few. It was understood that not everyone was up to the task of absorbing such knowledge and applying it in their life, and perhaps more importantly, using the power they gained in a proper manner. Through time, many have fallen to the temptation of the ego, but also many have succeeded and regained mastery over their ego. I look forward to the time when so many people will have taken the journey toward enlightenment that the consciousness of the entire human race will be lifted simultaneously, as one.

At the beginning of my spiritual journey, many of the truths I was learning were beyond my grasp. I recognized their value, but they were not true to who I was. For instance, even though I did not doubt that every being was an expression of the divine, I did not feel it in my heart and therefore I did not see or live it. In order to apply what I was learning into my life I needed to change; it was a requisite that I looked at myself and others from a different angle. To realize this, it was necessary that I reprogrammed my heart and my mind, not unlike the way I was reprogramming my body through the change of my diet.

As I strove to digest the concept that the core of every being is divine, the street became a classroom and everyone I came across a learning tool. I tried to find and honor God in all people, but most of the time the way they behaved, or the way I myself behaved, made the idea pretty ludicrous. The fact that I tended to be judgmental made it particularly hard for me to accept a divine presence in those whose behavior I did not commend. Nevertheless, regardless of not feeling love or respect towards certain people, when seeing them I would mentally repeat to myself like a mantra, "God is alive within me, God is alive within you." "God is alive within me, God is alive within you." "God is alive within me, God is alive within you." Thankfully, my ego may have been strong and made me feel self-righteous, but my spirit is stronger and kept on pointing the way until I could feel this truth in my heart.

Changes do not happen overnight and it is not because we recognize and connect with a divine principle that it necessarily materializes for us. The recognition of any spiritual law is just the beginning, the wake up call, and then comes the work. When we think that we have finally done the work, we realize that we have hardly started, and that we need to do the work all over again and the process goes on repeatedly. Life is in eternal movement; I do not believe it is ever stagnant. For this reason, I have absolute faith that I can change, that everyone and everything can change. This is why we must know and accept that even what seems unattainable, the most audacious of goals, is within our reach.

The acceptance that the essence of every living thing is divine is an expression of unconditional love. Today many people speak freely of their feelings of unconditional love, and the concept of unconditional love seems to be very much in fashion. It is indeed wonderful that people want to know and express unconditional, selfless love. However what we imagine unconditional love to be is often misconstrued, because of our misconceptions about love. For instance, when we enter into a new romantic relationship we love everything about our lover and we easily speak of our unconditional love for him or her. For some couples this turns out to be true, and their love remains undisturbed no matter what problems they encounter along the way. Nevertheless, for many others, this so-called unconditional love vanishes after the first few disagreements. Parents often refer to the unconditional love they feel for their children. However, if some parents do unconditionally love their children, many others, even with the best of intentions, love them selfishly.

They love their own reflection and not the individual soul and spirit of the child. To love unconditionally is to love in the same manner that God loves us. God does not differentiate between us. He gave us free will and He respects each of our choices, no matter how misguided they may be. God has absolute faith in us because He sees us only as the perfect being we truly are. The seed of pure unconditional love is alive within our heart, and it is in our power to lavish life with it. In order to radiate this pure selfless love, we need to allow its seed to grow and transform itself into a magnificent flower, whose beauty and fragrance enhance the life of everyone around it. For our seed to grow into a magnificent flower we need to clean our garden of weeds (purify our heart of fears); water our garden (shower our heart with tenderness) and expose our garden to the warmth of the sun (empower our heart with faith). Before we can radiate pure, selfless love to every man, woman and child of the earth, we must unconditionally love ourselves. Therefore to work toward self-mastery is an act of selfless love, because it is the only work that can unify humankind. To love unconditionally is to have complete faith in our absolute perfection and that of all beings, and to honor this perfection regardless of external appearances. To love unconditionally is to see through the eyes of God, to hear through the mind of God and to love through the heart of God. My personal struggle to know unconditional love taught me that it is not through will, but through grace that we reconnect to this divine feeling.

Throughout the journey and particularly at the beginning, it is faith that keeps us on track, because our thoughts and emotions deny many of the spiritual principles we come to know and accept. After a time, our acceptance makes its way into our heart and the spiritual principles become real to us. They find life within our feelings and eventually become the reality of our life. As we move further along, the principles become active and apparent in everything we do, think and say. Finally, we reach the part of our journey when we embody the principles and there is no more separation between divine and human energy and consciousness. This journey is the most magnificent adventure that we can ever experience. With every one of our steps leading us only forward, it does not matter when we started our journey. All that matters is that we took the first step, because at the end of the journey, our first and last step will join and become one step, the first step into the next journey.